Al Gore's inconvenient erection

~OR~ Douche of the Day


My birthday gift arrived right on time with news of Al Gore's unwanted sexual advances upon a hired masseuse.

I want to believe it.
I hope her saved pants from their encounter really do have traces of his "DNA".
I'd like to start a new catch phrase ~~
"I got your global warming right here!"
(Must be paired with the requisite crotch grab.)

Please do your part by performing this phrase (with the grab) at least 3 times a day for the next week and let's see if it catches on.

Thanking you in advance,
I am,
Skitzo Leezra

Hell has officially frozen over

31 -17

Al Gore can suck and suck it hard because the Saints won the Super Bowl XLIV, hell has a full ice bucket and global warming is no more.

Tracy Porter

in the 4th quarter

ran the ball,

made believers of us all

Check out the Bourbon Street Cam HERE

Told ya so

I knew Al Gore was full of it when he sold that line of global warming horseshit after eight idle Vice Presidential years.
Over two years ago, I posted that his ill begotten Oscar and accolades were a load of hooey and it seems like the recent story regarding leaked e-mails about manipulated evidence story is not fading.
Sure, I took the quiz on www.carbonfund.org website to calculate my carbon footprint and was amused to see their suggested financial donation to offset my use. What a great scam!
They are cleverly offering holiday e-certificates for your gift giving convenience. I'm telling you right now that if I receive a carbon offset e-certificate for Christmas, there might just be a full barrel of unrefined crude set afire in an undisclosed area to offset the intent.
Al Gore is a charlatan.
Global warming is not proven.
Carbon offsets are a creative con tactic to fleece idiots from their money.
Which brings me to ~~ it snowed in Louisiana today for the second time in less than a year so suck it, Al Gore.

• Zero Carbon Family




• $960.00

Subtotal = $960.00

• I wish to make an additional tax-deductible donation: $

Tree Bonus:

48 trees will be planted in your honor.

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Yes! Please send me 19 Chico Bags.

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Would you have liked Al Gore in high school?

My friend Dawn introduced me to her own version of a bar game. She would speak with someone for a few minutes then lean over to inform me just exactly what this person was like in high school. That and a few beers was quite entertaining.
Anywho, found this old e-mail from 2000 in my file yesterday and it still makes me laugh.

------------------------ from me to Dawn--------------------------
Hello Dawn,
I now subscribe to Dawn theory of "High School Image Reflecting on Today" school of thought. After watching a Presidential debate this week, I wanna play the game.

• So tell me, do you agree that Al Gore was a teacher's ass kissing pansy boy
• that hung around with your crowd all the time, occasionally shooting off his mouth?
• And it would be required to kick his ass on a regular basis just to make him bearable?
• And the home room teacher thought he was "such a nice boy"?
• And the only reason you LET him hang around was because he had a car or a swimming pool?

I am interested in your test of the Theory.

Skitzo Leezra

---------------------Dawn answers-------------------------

• Ass kissin' cocky smart guy
• with his nose in the air,
• on the debate team
• was the lead in the school plays,
• sang in the choir who had a group of nerdy girls that thought he was THE SHIT, who he would only abuse
• only hung out with teachers because he felt that the teachers understood him
• felt none of his classmates could communicate on his level
• other than that herd of nerdy groupies, he had no male friends
• none of the rest of his classmates knew he was alive
• in his mind, he was the most popular, well-loved kid in school

I can totally see the car/pool angle but I'm guessing that he would think he was too good to associate with a pack of immature teengagers who he'd eventually show his superiority to by becoming President.

Either way, he needed an ass-kicking!!

Sincerely,

Dawn

Do your own version of "green" and shut the hell up

What is your definition of green?
Eco friendly?
Tree hugger?
Sierra Club member?
Conservationist?
Drinker of Al Gore's KoolAid?


Would you take Sheryl Crow's recommendation and wipe with just one square of toilet paper? Or be like Cameron Diaz and turn off the water while you shave? Do you own a eco car?

Myself? I don't consider myself very green but I
* refrain from using paper towels and plates.
* recycle cans even though my city has scrapped curbside recycling. My friendly local can picker collects a bag o' cans from me once a week. Sure, it makes me feel good to help him but I really like the idea that aluminum cans aren't going straight to my garbage can. But MOSTLY, I don't want to bother with collecting cans.
* donate magazines to my local library. They sell donated books and magazines and the proceeds go to library programs.
* try to use old fashioned cleaning products like baking soda, vinegar and lemon.
* line dry as much laundry as possible.

What don't I do?
* Tell others what to do.
* Agonize about my carbon footprint.
* Care if anyone drives a SUV.
* Be a hyprocrite like Al Bore.
* Wipe with one square.
* Convert to fluroscent bulbs. Why? I like golden glow of incandescent. I like paying more for electrial use. Anyone know what those fluroscent bulbs contain? Mercury. Are you safely recycling YOUR newfangled more expensive bulbs?

Just do your own damn version of green. And then shut the hell up about it. Think of the benefit to global warming by shutting that hot air machine below your nose.