Duh of the day

Anderson Cooper is gay. Really.

Duh! of the day - Louisiana is nation's laziest state

from Business Week ,
No. 1 Laziest State: Louisiana
Time sleeping: 8 hours, 44 minutes
Time watching TV: 3 hours, 5 minutes
Time relaxing and thinking: 29 minutes
Time socializing: 54 minutes
Time working (ages 15 and older): 2 hours, 41 minutes
Median age: 35.1
Obesity ranking: No. 5 (31.2 percent)
We aren't trying to beat up on Louisiana. Goodness knows, between Hurricane Katrina and the Gulf Oil Spill, the state has been through some tough times in recent years. But the statistics speak for themselves: Residents of the state (which happens to be the country's third-poorest) watch more television per day than any other Americans except South Carolinians. They also rank third for being the most social, which includes entertaining and talking with friends, family, and other acquaintances. The average time spent working among all Louisianans is shorter than all other states, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.
(Data compiled before the Gulf Oil Spill so does not reflect recent spill-related layoffs.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hells yeah, we're lazy!
First, it's hot as a crotch in July and twice as muggy.
For dudes, that means bat wings.
For chicks, it's crotch pot cookin'.
Plus, we're tired.
Tired from picking up roof shingles from the damned hurricanes.
Tired of waiting for the insurance adjuster.
Entitlement-sapped from picking up our FEMA checks.
Spent from picking up our BP checks.
Achy from picking up sacks of crawfish.
Bloated from eating MREs.
Pooped out from evacuating from storms and such.
Done from collecting ice from the nice military boys.
Fatigued from unloading and reloading the refrigerator.
Sweaty from digging our meat holes.
Bored over hating on dolls.
Exhausted from partying.
Dog ass weary from parading.
It takes a lot of energy to rant, bitch, hate and judge. Think your day is long? Try living with multiple personalities in your head and all of them pushing their own agenda.
But hey, we're also thinking and socializing and planning the next crawfish boil and parade so give us credit for pacing ourselves.
Business Weekly should give Louisiana a major fucking break. I'd kick their ass but that would mean getting off the sofa . . . and the ice in my adult beverage is melting . . .
so I'll catch ya on the flipside, Biz Weak.

Duh of the Day - get spayed!

No shit, that crazy ass octomom hyena laugher Nadya Suleman willingly posed with PETA's new campaign ad

Don't let your dog or cat
become an "octomom

in exchange for $5000 and a month's supply of veggie hotdogs.

Suleman, 34, acknowledged she put the sign on her door partly for the money but added her support of PETA is sincere.

"I love animals and I do believe they should be spayed or neutered," she said. "Humans of course are much different."

Duh, wacked out breeder! Humans are much different. Trust me on this, it's so much more difficult to jam humans into my a back seat and force them into sterilization but just like a cute but stupid dog or cat, some two-leggeds shouldn't make their own breeding decisions. Talk to any reputable dog breeder and they'll liken Nadya to a puppy mill. I'm just sayin', if my neighbor allowed their hormonally deranged mama dog sporting pavement dragging teats to produce 14 litters of puppies within 8 years, they should probably expect a visit from the parish* animal shelter or zoning commission.

*county to the rest of "you people"

Duh! of the Day

Ricky Martin announced that he is gay on Monday.
Like we didn't have a clue 11 years ago when he was Livin' the Vida Loca.
Nobody has given a shit thought about him or his music in a decade so it didn't take a whole lot of bravery or risk to announce his homosexuality now, right?
Come on out, Ricky, we all knew you were gay from the very first nanosecond we laid eyes on ya. Besides, you're taking up valuable room in that gay closet, ya selfish bastard. Plenty of priests and politicians need the space in there.

Life is too short to

drink ordinary beer.

While reading the beer reviews on the Cooking for Assholes blog, I am forced to admit my beer palate is not at all as varied and educated as his; the very idea of chocolate beer or a coffee stout seems repugnant but he tries it all and shares his pronouncements.
I don't drink as much as I once did so it is even more important to me NOT to drink ordinary beer. Good wine, a nice gin and tonic or an occasional amaretto sour is also highly enjoyable.

So, today, a dude with a "Cajun suitcase" (24 pack of beer) of ordinary beer passed me as I entered the supermarket and later in the refrigerated section, another guy picked up the same huge box of beer.Your Word of the Day:

"Cajun suitcase"
~~ 24 or 30 pack of cheap beer,
usually purchased as chilled
for immediate consumption

Why drink no-taste-at-all beer, I wondered? By the time I made it to the next aisle the answer came to me. People who drink ordinary, bland, tasteless beer in volumes don't drink it for the taste. They don't really even know or enjoy beer. Truth is, those folks drink beer to get drunk.

This Duh of the Day has been presented to you by the mega brewers of Bud, Bud Light, Miller Lite, Coors, etc.

Duh! of the day

Of course, Fox News is skewed to the right.
Almost every other news source is skewed to the left.
And if you don't know that, geez, you aren't at all paying attention.
I listen to NPR, CNN and Fox News and totally hear their different slants but I have enough awareness to discern the bias from the information.
Here is what I learned a long time ago: news is presented to you by the broadcasting company that has sold enough advertising to pay for the service. It is the advertising that comes first, NOT the news content. The demographics for said products determine the audience. In other words, all news is biased.

Duh! of the day

Jon and Kate filed for divorce.

Next: they sell the kids to the circus.

Duh! of the day

Adam Lambert is gay.

Duh! of the day

Micro cars can give motorists top-notch fuel efficiency at a competitive price, but the insurance industry says they don't fare too well in collisions with larger vehicles.
LINK to full story

Duh! of the day

Women better than men at smelling body odor, study finds

Body odor reveals more than when we last showered. And apparently women are better at catching the scent of body odor than men, a new study found.

Duh! of the day

Welcome to a new feature I am calling "Duh!" of the day.

Obama collected a total of $130,000 from AIG in 2008,
while McCain accepted a total of $59,499.

Quote from ABC News

Pointer from my book boyfriend Tyler Cowen