Oscars 2011

“Why didn’t I lose that twenty pounds?” –Robert Stromberg

Which Academy genius suggested Kurt Douglas as presenter? Why not have Dick Clark join him as a co-presenter? Oh, my gosh, you’re breaking the first rule of show biz: leave them wanting more.

Best supporting presenting actress Melissa Leo - loved her genuine surprise, awkwardness and her live television F-bomb.

Justin Timberlake isn’t nearly as cute as he thinks he is. Not even close.

Why are Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem presenting together in matching ecru tuxedos? The look seems too unique to be accidental.

Randy Newman – witty, as usual.

2001: first win after nominated 15 times. "I don't need your pity".

2011: 20 nominations, second win. "Not a good percentage."

The “In Memoriam” montage with Celine Dion singing “Smile” was bearable because it avoided the awkward lulls of applause when a less famous face appeared.

Amusing speech by The King’s Speech director Tom Hooper which blended the appreciation of his mother and reference to his “triangle of man love” with Geoffrey Rush and Colin Firth.

Anne Hathaway – enjoyed her many wardrobe changes but there’s no need to ask her back as an Oscar host. Her behavior better fit hosting “Saturday Night Live”.

Colin Firth’s speech was the usual self deprecating witty British repartee you’d expect. Wonder if it was rehearsed or truly off-the-cuff?

The finale of school children singing “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” with the award winners was touching.

To wrap up: good movies with weak hosting by Anne Hathaway and James Franco.

Again I say, no need for the musical presentations.

Looking forward to watching this week’s episode of “Fashion Police” with Joan Rivers.

Good night, good people out there in The Intranet.

A surprising realization

It's Carnival season in Louisiana, I've been invited to many balls and parties and nothing about it appeals to me. While I love fashion, enjoy looking at formal wear and love shopping for a pretty evening bag and shoes, it took me thirty years to realize I don't enjoy dressing up.

A few years ago, Ernest and Eileen opted for a black tie wedding and Ernest informed his oldest friends he fully expected us to fulfill the example set by Carnival krewe requirements. When adhering to the black tie and formal gown decree, it means gowns to the floor. In this neck of the South, we've all heard the stories of ladies being being turned away from a ball because their dress was not a gown.
So, c'mon, Ernest, no cocktail dresses? No. But you know some women will show up in a short cute cocktail dress? Ernest stood firm, "no friend of his didn't understand the dress code". I enjoyed the evening and loved seeing our friends in their finery but it was that night I realized I never wanted to wear a formal gown again. As part girly girl and part tomboy, it was a disappointment and a shock to finally be truthful to myself. I liked helping sis Rikki Tikki Tavi select her formal accessories but the closest I want to get to the formals is staying home in my pjs to watch the Oscar pre-show and fashion recaps with Joan Rivers.

When I heard guys say they don't like wearing a tux, I used to chalk them up as socially inept or redneck but I get it now.

Watching the Oscars in pj pants and T-shirt,
and judging other's coiffure and garb,
I am,
Skitzo Leezra

A dress for the 5H Club

HeinousHideousHatefulHorrendousHorrible

~~submitted by Lynn

Quote of the day

I just hope this Lance Armstrong controversy makes people stop wearing those ugly bracelets. I don't like cancer inspired fashion.

--Natasha Leggero,

as uttered on "Chelsea Lately" show, E!

I have a mouth like Samantha but wanna dress like Charlotte: MY review of Sex and the City, The Movie

First of all, I had no plans at all to see this movie but was invited by the girls. It helps that my expectations were low. Yeah, yeah, I watched the syndicated reruns of the show and enjoyed them okay but the writing was trite and Samantha's euphenisms and double entendres became tiresome but worse, was the idiocy of fashion stylist Patricia Fields insistence of sartorial foolishness. Ugh, how I would love to slap Ms. Fields for dressing Carrie in open back formalwear and intentionally exposed garish colored bras!
Anywho, this is a chick flick so don't even think of dragging your man to see it unless you promise him a very nice reward. He won't enjoy it and it is mean of you to insist. Now, should you be a fag hag and wanna bring your gay buddy, by all means, he will think it to be fabby pooh pooh pooh.
What to expect: (because every chick flick must include)
1) Dancing girl - indeed, someone decided long ago that girls/women/ladies spontaneously break into dance
2) Array of fashion items and things to covet - thankfully, most was the good stuff and not that nasty ass shit that proves that Patricia Fields hates women
3) Long, lingering shots of man flesh - wait, I change my mind, bring your guy so he can know what it feels like when we see gratuitous slo-mo glistening lady parts.
4) Impossible real estate in Manhattan

Back to review - lots of laugh out loud moments, status fashion galore, and well thought out stories of varied relationships. Very surprised that I liked and glad that I saw it.

Here is what I think to be the secret of the whole "Sex and the City" appeal: women like to think themselves as one of the characters but the truth is, most of us are ALL four of those women. Driven, domesticated, sexually charged, selfish, vapid, caring, confident, insecure, etc. If you don't have at least four personalities, you are not a real woman and no friend of mine.

Favorite quote from Samantha: "Shut up, fuck wad!"

My ranking: worth full price admission

The OTHER reason he wears that

Other than a man's wife marking him with unappealing clothing, there is another reason a man wears goofy or dated apparel. If a male gets a compliment on his clothing from someone he LIKES or RESPECTS, he will wear that item or something just like it for the remainder of his life. Occasionally, the influential female may be a sister or wife, but not usually. Mothers? Never.
Could be that, when he was 14 years old, his girlfriend told him that he looked yummy in that hoodie sweatshirt. A sexy co-worker may have said that she loved men that wear red ties.
A man once told me that males remember every negative thing that a woman tells them. That simply cannot be. I think it is the opposite. In MY opinion, men are seldom the receiver of compliments so they remember every one.

Compliment the men in your lives. Just be careful what you say.

Why Is That Man Wearing THAT Shirt, answered

That guy seems nice. He seems normal. And he seems somewhat intelligent.

So why the hell is that wearing that shirt? The one that kinda looks like powder room wallpaper or a beach house pillow? Does it have a repeating "retro" motif of cars or surf boards* or daiquiri glasses? Come hither, my ignorant friend, and SkitzoLeezra will impart "That Shirt" knowledge.

A. Look closer. See the wedding ring? That poor slob is wearing that shirt because his wife bought it for him. She LIKES it. The print reminds her of the cute border wallpaper that wants to use in the downstairs bathroom. The print is FUN. She has a page just like it in her vacation scrapbook. And she can shortcut the decor redo by donning her man in the feminine print shirt. Plus, all the guys at country club wear them so they must be popular.

B. This part may not even be apparent to said wife. She may not even KNOW this part. By selecting the wallpaper print shirt from the Tommy Bahama department or Columbia store, she is putting her mark on her man. That mark says "Keep away. This man is taken. The almost girly print is an indicator this man is off the market." The shirt is the apparel equivalent of a mini-van or neuter hormone.

Ask that guy if his wife bought the shirt. When he says yes, just smile and say "of course she did and she must love you very much."

The other wives will compliment him on his shirt. He thinks they are checking him out. Naw, they are asking the wife where to find one just like it for their man.

*THAT shirt does not include true retro, vintage Hawaiian shirts worn by hipsters.

Fashion or Lack Thereof Explained Here

Fashion fades. Style is eternal.

See that woman with the heavily hairsprayed 'do? Wearing too heavy eyeliner? Take a closer look. Is it the 1950's beehive or the late 1980's vertical bang claw? How old would you judge her to be? Can you rule out a costume party or an ironic sense of style? There, now, you are getting closer to the conclusion.

Women usually get stuck in a fashion bubble

that represents the time

that they were the happiest.