Snow in Lousyana

Holy gumbo, it snowed last week!

Unfortunately, there was no freezing, no iced up roads, nor power outages so it was business as usual and I was expected to go to work.

But it was pretty.

Must be nice

Never knew how to respond to folks that said, "must be nice" when you mentioned an upcoming vacation or such. Not a fan of braggarts myself so careful not to be one, thus, the "must be nice" thing takes me by surprise. Awkward in the beginning, now I just answer, "Yes, it is."
I am truly happy when my friends receive good news or cool rewards and I don't consider myself to be a jealous person but if I truly am envious, I own up to it. "I covet your brand new Super 2000 embroidery machine with 976 stitch options" but never would I say "must be nice".
And you shouldn't either. It makes you seem small.
Nor should you talk about the price of items. It is crass. LocalRichBitch stopped by her/my hair salon to show the gay hairstylist her chosen wallpaper for her new McMansion. Nevermind that she interrupted him doing MY hair. The paper was garish by my standards but he told her it was nice. Loudly she exclaimed, "Nice? Of course, it is nice. It should be nice at $400 a roll."
Oh my gosh, I almost fell out of chair. That behavior is so gross and reveals so much about her. Not good things.
Cut to my Book Boyfriend Tyler Cowen. He writes about "signals"in his book "Discover Your Inner Economist: Use Incentives to Fall in Love, Survive Your Next Meeting, and Motivate Your Dentist". We signal every time we incur a cost to send a message about ourselves to the outside world. Signaling is a kind of personal advertising. An example of counter-signaling is when the very rich dress like bums.
My Book Boyfriend goes on to say that reporting good news can make a person look bad. If we look anxious to reveal good news, our listeners assume that we don't often have good news. Tyler asks if Bill Gates goes home at night to tell his wife he earned a lot of money that day? Did Michael Jordan need to tell his friends every time he scored 30 points in a game? Sooner or later the good news will come out and even better if it is carried by a third party.

Hope all your news is good and your enemies hear it from someone else.

Word of the day

Date rape sandwich - Thanksgiving leftover turkey sandwich. Causes you to slip into coma-like nap(s).

--coined by yours truly,

SkitzoLeezra

Quote of the day

Every time a friend succeeds,

I die a little.

--Jay Thomas, as uttered on his Sirius satellite radio program

Family of idiots

If your car has a decal like this on it, you are an asshole.

It is about as stoopid as this:

No wait, there is something stoopider. How about announcing your child's name and hobby on the back of your vehicle? Pedophiles just loooooove that. So easy to approach your dumb child and ask about their activity of choice.
If I have an option to avoid a collision with either an unmarked car or the stoopid decal car, you aren't gonna like my choice. Now, if you have a NASCAR sticker, it is gonna be a tougher choice. Make sure those air bags are activated, idiots.

Self abuse

Every morning when I look into the mirror, I see what self abuse can do a person. But while in the warm shower, the urge takes over and regardless of the consequences and subsequent shame, I cannot help myself. I am probably adding years to my appearance but the vigorous rubbing must happen. It just feels so good to rub and massage my eyes under warm water of the showerhead.

Sundown in southwest Louisiana

last Friday afternoon

Quote of the day

"You know what they say:

Spare the Taser, spoil the child."

--as uttered today by Howard Stern on Sirius satellite radio

New baby mediations

My married friends are expecting a child and Eileen wonders if we can continue to be friends since I have been quite vocal in my dislike of children. Kay also. And Dawn too. But we like Eileen and Ernest enough to consider that concessions should be made by both the breeder and childless-by-choice folks. We feel these considerations should be discussed now before feelings are hurt later.

Here is our preliminary* trade-off list:

We promise to give ample notice of outings so you can get a sitter. In other words, get a sitter. Kids are a buzz kill at parties and dinner.

We won't tell stories about getting drunk and where we wake up if you don't tell baby stories. Save those for your breeder friends.

We won't share gross stuff about our own bodies if you zip it on the gross baby stuff.

If you don't contribute toward our rent or mortgages, don't expect us to fund your baby needs. Breeding is no reason for a handout of expensive gifts.

Don't bitch about the cost of in vitro. Birth control pills cost even less but often aren't covered under insurance.

Our houses are not baby-proofed nor you should not expect them to be. Watch your children and teach them some boundaries! We will, however, put away the crack pipe and razors if you visit.

Decide ahead of time which spouse will carry the screaming brat out of the room. We don't want to witness an awkward argument but we will discuss it afterwards.

Really, it all boils down to: know your audience. Your mom wants to hear every doggone thing about Baby Precious. Us? Not so much.

*List to be amended under the comment section. Add yours, please.

Don't make me laugh while eating

My sister RikkiTikkiTavi and I were eating ChickFilA at the mall food court today when she spied a young freak with multi-colored hair and lime green shoes. We were watching him enjoy his specialness. I noticed and commented on his quite large star-shaped tattoos centered on both elbow bones and wondered aloud what those would look like when he was sixty.
Without a beat, RikkiTikkiTavi said, "He'll never make it to sixty."