Monday, August 07, 2006

Can Cats See Spirits?

My friend, Cassandra, thinks that when cats stare blankly at nothing in particular that they are seeing spirits. Her cat, Frank, occasionally freaks her out by looking staring intently at the space just behind her head.
"You see a ghost, Frank? Is it a spirit?"
He never answers. Maybe he instead saw a burglar. Or maybe an ax wielding murderer. She wouldn't know. Frank tells nothing.
Possible sightings of spirits or ghosts would not alarm Frank. His Saint Francis medal protects him. He was wearing it when Cassandra adopted him. Saint Francis. Pray for us. Sterling Silver. Italy.
While Cassandra's theory seems to have merit, Mom and I think that common household domesticated felines transmit gathered intelligence to their Cat Gods. Mom and I are not sure exactly what information is required but your undressing and bare moments are surely recorded. (Why else would they gaze so intently while you are unclothed?)
Because cats are the channels, they may not necessarily be privy to comprehending or understanding the relayed information. Or even why it is needed. I know this because I caught my cat Sammy reading the other day. But upon closer inspection I noticed that he was reading from right to left. I figured that when he transmitted the contents of August issue of Martha Stewart Living magazine, the text would be LIFO format (Last In, First Out).
When Sammy takes the occasional short car trip to Sonic or the veterinarian, he always reads the street signs. Originally, I thought it to be a survival tactic. But I now think that The Powers need global mapping and navigational assistance.
What I am not sure of is if The Powers have thumbs. The Cat Gods surely know that the kitties of the world would cause great mayhem if they did miraculously develop that last crucial phalange. There would be rioting in the street. Cats would be able to take photographs, drive cars, eat tacos; the potential insults to mankind are unthinkable. No thumbs yet but the ability to see spirits.

"What do you see, Frank? What is it, boy?"

Frank reveals nothing.
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