Al Gore's inconvenient erection

~OR~ Douche of the Day


My birthday gift arrived right on time with news of Al Gore's unwanted sexual advances upon a hired masseuse.

I want to believe it.
I hope her saved pants from their encounter really do have traces of his "DNA".
I'd like to start a new catch phrase ~~
"I got your global warming right here!"
(Must be paired with the requisite crotch grab.)

Please do your part by performing this phrase (with the grab) at least 3 times a day for the next week and let's see if it catches on.

Thanking you in advance,
I am,
Skitzo Leezra

Jersey Shore douches and douchettes holding out for vinegar

Maybe I heard wrong.
Something like the cast wants more money and are united in their money hold out. Dude, I watched that guilty cheese fest, don't need to see any more and neither do you. What would be better, me thinks, is multi-city seasons featuring scum bags and whore bags from each geographical armpit of the great nation. Next stop: ??!
Let's see some liberal dirty hippie types in Colorado, ignorant party freaks in Louisiana and how's about Florida? Which group should we look for there?
Hit the road, Jersey Shore bitches and man-whores! You're yesterday's douche water. See ya in the casino restroom, where your job will be handing out paper towels and hoping for a tip.

Balloon boy's dad is a douche nozzle*

Larimer County Sheriff Jim Alderden announced at a press conference on Sunday that Colorado authorities have ruled the "balloon boy's" flight a hoax.

"It has been determined that this is a hoax. We believe we have evidence at this point to indicate that this was a publicity stunt," Alderden told reporters.

~~~~~~~~~

from the GumboNetwork:

Skitzo Leezra here, reporting from the lower left hand corner of the boot shaped state of Louisiana--

My bro-in-law put together a cardboard box and silver helium balloon costume and wore it to an early Halloween party last Saturday and was the hit of the night. Hard to believe, but, Sis RikkiTikkiTavi tells me that not one person at the party asked him for a vomit-on-air re-enactment.

*He named his son "Falcon"---> an automatic entry to douche dad status.

Douche of the day

I suppose Massengill and Summer's Eve declined to be sponsors on this summer's Big Brother so they brought Jesse from last year.
Something tells me that he holds this pose often.