Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Family portrait in white

So SICK of seeing these unoriginal, much copied and stoopid family portraits! Everyone is dressed in white with a soft focus. Usually taken at the beach.

Everyone thinks their photo is so unique but they look like all the rest.
And I understand why the trend is popular. It is because most family portraits are posed and stiff or most folks look good except for the ass clown wearing a sports jersey or t-shirt.
White neutralizes your lack of taste.

But it has been done to death and it is time for it to stop. Wanna an original family portrait? Dress in Goth and pose at the beach. Take your sand pails to the cemetery. Go to the Nascar race in your Sunday best. Dress your kids like a hungover Lindsay Lohan, holding a jail sign under their chin.

And while we are at it, stop it with the kids in the washtubs. Stoopid. I blame Ann Geddes. Oh, how I hate cutesy.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Hurricane Ike at the cemetery

They say one of the benefits of living in Louisiana is that you may see your dead relatives after a hurricane. That's right, the coffins pop out of the ground if the water table rises. During hurricane Rita, some coffins were sucked out the ground and found 3 miles away. This eerie sight caught my big ole eyes. Some coffins pushed out of the ground, another filled with water and one pushed 50 yards away.

These photos illustrate how high the water went over the fence, dragging debris with it.

Hurricane Ike

This is what a hurricane does. Reduces your refrigerator to an ice chest with rapidly melting ice. But fret not, another ice chest is devoted to Coca-Cola and beer.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Hurricane Gustav

To all of you who inquired (and Ernest),

Folks from far and wide were evacuating through our area. Stopped by my local convenience store when I saw a caravan of cars pulling into the parking lot. I noticed that their license plates were from out of the area and they all piled out. Thinking they were lost, I lingered and waited for their approach but they didn't. And I kinda felt bad that I took this photo but it touched me.

Along with my sister Rikki Tikki Tavi and her brats, I went to Houston to accept the most gracious hospitality of Kay. The best kind of evacuation house offer? The kind where the owner isn't home! That way, you don't feel like you are in the way and they don't fuss over your every need. PLUS, you can root through their stuff before they get home! Right, people?
Houston received no rain but the brats were bored so we visited what I call the Third Tier of Hell aka The Children's Museum. THAT was the worst part of whole trip. The best part was Walter allowed me to face paint him. A nice curvy mustache and goatee. He drew the line at bushy evil eyebrows. Those stupid ass kids with butterflies and such on their faces - pansies, I tell ya.
Our home area had some wind and localized power outage of an hour or so. Happy to report that no alcoholic beverages were harmed by Gustav.
Mallys asked if I was pro-active and pre-dug my meat hole. Well, she is MUCH smarter than I because I never once considered a pre-dig! A scratch here and there but not a dig.
Someone mentioned this morning that 2 more hurricanes are out there. I don't know anything about them and ask that you not share information with me. La LA la la la.
Happy to be home,
I am,
Skitzo Leezra

Big eyes

While my eyes aren't really big, I think I possess superior peripheral vision. I can sense movement, like a small snake in the pool. I can see a deer running through the woods. I can even spot a status symbol from 50 yards, or so my mom maintains. And though I have no desire to hunt animals, am thinking I would be a pretty good spotter. So I bragged the above to my dad. He got a bemused look on his face and explained to me that hunters don't usually have that kind of vision. Prey do.
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