Monday, December 29, 2008

Sonic drive thru curiousity

Looka what I saw last week at a Sonic drive thru in Beaumont, Texas! Real live cowboys, only a few blocks from Parkdale Mall.
(My hometown Sonic just has a guy that drives in on his riding mower.)

Strawberry Shortcake is a whore

I thought Strawberry Shortcake had gone the way of Holly Hobby, to the old whores home.

But no, Strawberry Cake Hole is back in her new modern made-over self and she gives pink a bad name. Who do you think taught those Bratz dolls how to dance on a stripper pole? Holly Hobby and her slutty friend SS Cake Hole. I said it before, I'll say it again, I trust no doll with a huge bonnet. And look at her dress. Would you say it is a bit short? You can see her bloomers for goodness sake! At least Hobby dressed like a fundamental even if she did have whore-ish ways.

No matter, once a whore, always a whore.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Quote of the day

"Yeah, I remember in high school,

me and Matt drinking whiskey

out of a garbage bag."

--as recalled by my brother Rollo,

describing how his buddy Matt the grocery store stock boy

would pour out the contents of a bottle of whiskey

into a garbage bag, break said whiskey bottle and

then report a breakage on aisle 5.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Snow in Lousyana

Holy gumbo, it snowed last week!

Unfortunately, there was no freezing, no iced up roads, nor power outages so it was business as usual and I was expected to go to work.

But it was pretty.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Must be nice

Never knew how to respond to folks that said, "must be nice" when you mentioned an upcoming vacation or such. Not a fan of braggarts myself so careful not to be one, thus, the "must be nice" thing takes me by surprise. Awkward in the beginning, now I just answer, "Yes, it is."
I am truly happy when my friends receive good news or cool rewards and I don't consider myself to be a jealous person but if I truly am envious, I own up to it. "I covet your brand new Super 2000 embroidery machine with 976 stitch options" but never would I say "must be nice".
And you shouldn't either. It makes you seem small.
Nor should you talk about the price of items. It is crass. LocalRichBitch stopped by her/my hair salon to show the gay hairstylist her chosen wallpaper for her new McMansion. Nevermind that she interrupted him doing MY hair. The paper was garish by my standards but he told her it was nice. Loudly she exclaimed, "Nice? Of course, it is nice. It should be nice at $400 a roll."
Oh my gosh, I almost fell out of chair. That behavior is so gross and reveals so much about her. Not good things.
Cut to my Book Boyfriend
Tyler Cowen. He writes about "signals"in his book "Discover Your Inner Economist: Use Incentives to Fall in Love, Survive Your Next Meeting, and Motivate Your Dentist". We signal every time we incur a cost to send a message about ourselves to the outside world. Signaling is a kind of personal advertising. An example of counter-signaling is when the very rich dress like bums.
My Book Boyfriend goes on to say that reporting good news can make a person look bad. If we look anxious to reveal good news, our listeners assume that we don't often have good news. Tyler asks if Bill Gates goes home at night to tell his wife he earned a lot of money that day? Did Michael Jordan need to tell his friends every time he scored 30 points in a game? Sooner or later the good news will come out and even better if it is carried by a third party.

Hope all your news is good and your enemies hear it from someone else.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Word of the day

Date rape sandwich - Thanksgiving leftover turkey sandwich. Causes you to slip into coma-like nap(s).

--coined by yours truly,

Quote of the day

Every time a friend succeeds,
I die a little.

--Jay Thomas, as uttered on his Sirius satellite radio program

Monday, December 01, 2008

Family of idiots

If your car has a decal like this on it, you are an asshole.

It is about as stoopid as this:

No wait, there is something stoopider. How about announcing your child's name and hobby on the back of your vehicle?
Pedophiles just loooooove that. So easy to approach your dumb child and ask about their activity of choice.
If I have an option to avoid a collision with either an unmarked car or the stoopid decal car, you aren't gonna like my choice. Now, if you have a NASCAR sticker, it is gonna be a tougher choice. Make sure those air bags are activated, idiots.

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