Friday, March 28, 2008

Spring is here

Moving stuff around the patio last weekend and spied this little happy sign of spring in a partially opened bag of potting soil. Clover all over.

I am digging in your butt for drugs

A New Orleans teenager has complained that police were too ambitious in their pat down for drugs and weapons.

White, also 17, who was also against the wall, said another officer pulled down his pants and underwear and also swiped between his buttocks. People on the street could see the officers' actions, he said, which he described as humiliating.

"He swiped like a Visa," White said.

My friend Ernest commented on the story, Approved....Approved...DECLINED!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Crawfish thieves caught by private investigator

I find most of those "stupid thief" funny story things a bit lame but just love the last sentence of this story.

Private Investigator Uses Night Vision Binoculars to Catch Crawfish Thieves

Three men are facing charges after stealing crawfish out of an Acadia Parish pond.
It happened around 8:00 Thursday night on Highway 90. The trio was caught by a private investigator hired by the pond's owner. The owner hired the private investigator because he was fed up with the recent thefts in the area.
The P.I. used night vision binoculars to spot the men. Forty year old Edward Harris and two 17 year olds Frank Bott and Mel Menard are now behind bars.
Investigators say the men were trying to hide underwater, but were spotted by a nose sticking out.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

25 Random facts about me

  1. I think I am a better-than-average driver.
  2. I think everyone else is a bad driver.
  3. When the lottery prize approaches $250,000,000 I will purchase a ticket but rarely ever think about it when the lottery prize is lower, as if $30,000,000 isn't worth the paperwork.
  4. To me, boyfriends should be like a leases. After 2 years, you either re-up or turn it in.
  5. I am not afraid to die.
  6. I don't want anyone I love to die.
  7. Plaid is my favorite color.
  8. If we were in jail, you would want to know me. I would be that person that knew how to get stuff.
  9. When I was a kid, I wanted to grow up and go to jail. In my mind, they had cool bunk beds and lolled in them while reading comic books.
  10. I honk at every asshole that travels through a red light.
  11. I wish I could shoot at them with a paint gun.
  12. I feel I should be authorized to shoot a paint gun at red light scofflaws.
  13. My red light scofflaw plan states that cops can pull over any car with 3 or more paint ball stains and write a ticket, no questions asked.
  14. I love stirring up shit with drunk folks.
  15. Coca-Cola in a can, that is my vice.
  16. Sonic ice, that's nice.
  17. Though a Louisiana girl, I don't dig boiled crawfish or po-boys.
  18. Potatoes and corn boiled with crawfish? Aw, HELL yeah!
  19. Pecans = good.
  20. I have sent anonymous postcards with decor suggestions to folks that have ugly houses.
  21. I agree with my mom that sunshine has healing properties.
  22. It cracks me up when a man refers to a woman as a "broad". But only if he means it.
  23. If I were on a deserted island, I would want my Sirius satellite radio and lots of batteries.
  24. The man's scent Aramis makes me weak. I know, I know, it is old school but maybe that is why.
  25. Other favorite smell? MarksALot permanent markers! mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Not interested

Last week I was asked out on a date by a guy that I wasn't particularly attracted to. Mind you, it wasn't that he was physically unattractive, I have dated all sorts and don't have a "type". No, it just seemed this guy was a little too "small town" and not intellectually stimulating.

Anywho, I still have a problem turning down dates. You would think that I am at an age where I should have that down by now. How do you say "no thanks"? Instead, I use the same excuse I have used for years "I just started dating someone in (insert not too distant city here).

At a recent party, a woman said that she used to tell guys in bars that she was gay and asked if I ever used that trick. Gosh no! I was in bars to meet guys! In a small town, you don't want THAT floating around, especially if you are like me, single, over the typical coupling age, driving a truck and able to plunge your own toilet. People wonder about me already.

But back to subject at hand. Is it more kind to just smile and say "no thanks" or better to make up a white lie?

Monday, March 03, 2008

Livin' & dyin' in New Orleans

Per capita, New Orleans had more murders last year than any other American city with 209 homicides, a nearly 30 percent increase from the 161 recorded in 2006. New Orleans' population is thought to be 295,450, which would mean a rate of about 71 homicides per 100,000 people. To compare that number with some other notoriously bloody cities, the rate for Gary, Ind., was 48.3 and Detroit's was 47.1.

SkitzoLeezra here:

After returning to my hometown, my friends laugh when I tell them that it took 2 years before I felt comfortable enough to NOT lock my front door behind me each time I brought a load of groceries into the house.

While living in the City Park neighborhood of New Orleans, a relatively safe area, I became accustomed to bringing in groceries and locking the front door AND car between each trip back to the car. It's called street smarts, my friend.

Forget to take out the trash the night before pick up day? From a partially ajar front door, toss the garbage bag as far as you can before slamming and locking the door.

Don't even think of dating a drug dealer. He may have a slick ride and ready cash, but you might just wake up dead. Oh, abstain from drug use so you can avoid the dealers and their neighborhoods.

In New Orleans ,you get used to the constant threat of crime. Ah, it makes you feel more alive!
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