Overheard

Sitting at a bar as the large screen television flashes a news story of a hockey mom who had sex with her son's teenaged team mates.
All eyes watched the screen as the music and conversation quieted just enough so the entire bar overheard a female voice exclaim, "What? Is there something wrong with that? No, really, is it wrong to have sex with a teenage boy? REally?! Oh, okay, good to know."

Then, the guy next to me piped up with "I didn't play hockey but something similar happened with my friend's mom."

Hello, conversation starter!

Overheard

one female to another:
"Look, I had sex with the last guy just because he sent me a random text every five days or so . . . so YOU KNOW I have no problem giving it up to my new guy if I thought I'd get an Iphone or a bigger TV out of him."

Overheard

One salesperson to another:
"Sometimes I think when people say they're 'retired', they really mean 'retarded'."

Overheard

"Yeah, that lady was trying to make me lose my job! I even said 'Have a nice day' . . . and I'm not even on my meds."

Overheard at the court house

from a dude whooping and hollering as he exploded out of the second floor court room. He picked up the desk phone, dialed and loudly held a conversation the next day's jury pool could hear.
"Hey girl! Guess what? I'm not going to prison! Yeah, I got three years probation. What? YEAH, that's good! Probation is nuthin'. You would think it was good if you knew what I really did. You got any food at your house? No, huh, well, I'll call ya later."
Dials another number.
"Yeah, I called her and told her I got probation and did she have any food and she gave me a no but what she doesn't know is I really want to get with her sister. I bet her sister has some groceries. I'm calling her next."

Overheard at the holiday market

"DAMMIT, I WANT THAT RUG! I tell ya what, next time, I marry a rich guy. If he's rich, I don't care if he's ugly. If he's super ugly, I'll just bark at him."

Overheard

2 tweens or barely teenage boys playing basketball next door

Boy 1, angrily: Quit talking about my mom!
Boy 2: No
Boy 1, louder: Stop it! Stop talking about her!
Boy 2: I like your mom
Boy 1: Shut up!
Boy 2: Yeah, I like your mom. Alot.

Then they notice me and get quiet.

Overheard

Man's voice:
Yeah, well, I was just trying to be a nice guy so I let her come over to do laundry 'cause her washer was broken. That was three weeks ago and she is still there.