Do your own version of "green" and shut the hell up

What is your definition of green?
Eco friendly?
Tree hugger?
Sierra Club member?
Conservationist?
Drinker of Al Gore's KoolAid?


Would you take Sheryl Crow's recommendation and wipe with just one square of toilet paper? Or be like Cameron Diaz and turn off the water while you shave? Do you own a eco car?

Myself? I don't consider myself very green but I
* refrain from using paper towels and plates.
* recycle cans even though my city has scrapped curbside recycling. My friendly local can picker collects a bag o' cans from me once a week. Sure, it makes me feel good to help him but I really like the idea that aluminum cans aren't going straight to my garbage can. But MOSTLY, I don't want to bother with collecting cans.
* donate magazines to my local library. They sell donated books and magazines and the proceeds go to library programs.
* try to use old fashioned cleaning products like baking soda, vinegar and lemon.
* line dry as much laundry as possible.

What don't I do?
* Tell others what to do.
* Agonize about my carbon footprint.
* Care if anyone drives a SUV.
* Be a hyprocrite like Al Bore.
* Wipe with one square.
* Convert to fluroscent bulbs. Why? I like golden glow of incandescent. I like paying more for electrial use. Anyone know what those fluroscent bulbs contain? Mercury. Are you safely recycling YOUR newfangled more expensive bulbs?

Just do your own damn version of green. And then shut the hell up about it. Think of the benefit to global warming by shutting that hot air machine below your nose.

I Feel Sorry for Lindsay Lohan

Just think back to the day when you were younger. The years between seventeen and say, late twenties. Raging hormones. Add easy access to alcohol. Readily available drugs. Oh, and on top of that, lots and lots of money. And a lifestyle that caters to YOU. Toss in permissive and narcissistic parent 1 and alcoholic jailbird parent 2.
It is a rare bird that WOULDN'T be a mess.
Each time I see another report about Lindsay's antics and bad behavior, I thank God that I did not have that combination. Heck, I am glad that we did not have cellular phones with cameras!

Underage drinking? Check.
Driving under the influence? Check.
Dancing on a barroom speaker? Check.
Bad drunken decisions? Check.
All the other stuff? No, thankfully.

Did you ever take that self assessment alcoholic test? After reading it while in college and it scaring the crap out of me, I abstained from drinking for a semester. Until then, I took pride in the fact that I could match drink to drink with my guy friends. Okay, back to the test. Put yourself at Lindsay's age and answer honestly.

1. Are you unable to stop drinking after a certain number of drinks?
WHY WOULD I STOP?
2. Do you need a drink to get motivated?
MOTIVATED TO DANCE, YES.
3. Do you often forget what happened while you were "partying" (have blackouts)?
DUUUUUUUDE.
4. Do you drink or "party" alone?
NO.
5. Have others annoyed you by criticizing your alcohol use?
LET GO OF THE BEER BONG, LEEZRA!
6. Have you been involved in fights with your friends or family while you were drunk?
NO.
7. Have you done or said anything while drinking that you later regretted?
OR TELL COMPLETE STRANGERS THAT THEIR WARDROBE LOOKS LIKE A REPLAY OF SOLID GOLD DANCERS?
OR ASK THE GAL WEARING A RED LEOTARD AND BLACK BELT IF SHE HAD A MIRROR IN HER HOUSE?
CAN ANYONE ANSWER NO TO THIS ONE?
8. Have you destroyed or damaged property while drinking?
AW, HELL YEAH! (giggle)
9. Do you drive while drunk?
GUILTY
10. Have you been physically hurt while drinking?
PARTY BRUISES!
11. Have you been in trouble with the school authorities or police because of your drinking?
CLOSE.
12. Have you dropped or chosen friends based on their drinking habits?
YEP.
13. Do you think you are a normal drinker despite your friends' comments that you drink too much?
NO, MY FRIENDS DRINK ALOT TOO.
14. Have you ever missed classes, work or other important events because you were too hung over to get up on time?
HEL-LO?
15. Have you ever done poorly on an exam or assignment because of drinking?
YEP.
16. Do you think about drinking a lot?
YES, THIS TEST IS MAKING WANT A BEER.
17. Do you feel guilty or self-conscious about your drinking?
NOT UNTIL NOW.

That was the younger me. The answers have changed. But the time between then and now is not the fodder of gossip magazines. How sad to grow up with the entire world watching you. I don't judge Lindsay but I do feel sorry for her.

http://www.pamf.org/teen/risk/alcohol/quiz.html