Monday, August 06, 2007

I Feel Sorry for Lindsay Lohan



Just think back to the day when you were younger. The years between seventeen and say, late twenties. Raging hormones. Add easy access to alcohol. Readily available drugs. Oh, and on top of that, lots and lots of money. And a lifestyle that caters to YOU. Toss in permissive and narcissistic parent 1 and alcoholic jailbird parent 2.
It is a rare bird that WOULDN'T be a mess.
Each time I see another report about Lindsay's antics and bad behavior, I thank God that I did not have that combination. Heck, I am glad that we did not have cellular phones with cameras!

Underage drinking? Check.
Driving under the influence? Check.
Dancing on a barroom speaker? Check.
Bad drunken decisions? Check.
All the other stuff? No, thankfully.

Did you ever take that self assessment alcoholic test? After reading it while in college and it scaring the crap out of me, I abstained from drinking for a semester. Until then, I took pride in the fact that I could match drink to drink with my guy friends. Okay, back to the test. Put yourself at Lindsay's age and answer honestly.

1. Are you unable to stop drinking after a certain number of drinks?
WHY WOULD I STOP?
2. Do you need a drink to get motivated?
MOTIVATED TO DANCE, YES.
3. Do you often forget what happened while you were "partying" (have blackouts)?
DUUUUUUUDE.
4. Do you drink or "party" alone?
NO.
5. Have others annoyed you by criticizing your alcohol use?
LET GO OF THE BEER BONG, LEEZRA!
6. Have you been involved in fights with your friends or family while you were drunk?
NO.
7. Have you done or said anything while drinking that you later regretted?
OR TELL COMPLETE STRANGERS THAT THEIR WARDROBE LOOKS LIKE A REPLAY OF SOLID GOLD DANCERS?
OR ASK THE GAL WEARING A RED LEOTARD AND BLACK BELT IF SHE HAD A MIRROR IN HER HOUSE?
CAN ANYONE ANSWER NO TO THIS ONE?
8. Have you destroyed or damaged property while drinking?
AW, HELL YEAH! (giggle)
9. Do you drive while drunk?
GUILTY
10. Have you been physically hurt while drinking?
PARTY BRUISES!
11. Have you been in trouble with the school authorities or police because of your drinking?
CLOSE.
12. Have you dropped or chosen friends based on their drinking habits?
YEP.
13. Do you think you are a normal drinker despite your friends' comments that you drink too much?
NO, MY FRIENDS DRINK ALOT TOO.
14. Have you ever missed classes, work or other important events because you were too hung over to get up on time?
HEL-LO?
15. Have you ever done poorly on an exam or assignment because of drinking?
YEP.
16. Do you think about drinking a lot?
YES, THIS TEST IS MAKING WANT A BEER.
17. Do you feel guilty or self-conscious about your drinking?
NOT UNTIL NOW.

That was the younger me. The answers have changed. But the time between then and now is not the fodder of gossip magazines. How sad to grow up with the entire world watching you. I don't judge Lindsay but I do feel sorry for her.

http://www.pamf.org/teen/risk/alcohol/quiz.html

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

the only answer that "might" have changed for Leezra would probably be #'s 8 & 10. -jftb

Anonymous said...

At least we were never drunk... at least I wasn't.

theUNteacher said...

BTW, that last comment was me...

SkitzoLeezra said...

AW, HELLs YEAH, I still get party bruises and still vandalize and still do the drunk 5 finger discount but not usually in a private residence.

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