Before the even more retarded dog moved in next door, the other neighbor's little yappy dog irritated me with his incessant barking. After a few weeks of the new puppy's unnecessary noise, I told the neighbor dude, "Y'know, I grew up with dogs and adore them but for the first time in my life, I finally understand those stories about an unhappy neighbor poisoning the barking dog."
He stood there for a minute, trying to figure out if I was pulling his leg, bent over to pick up his incredibly stoopid Dachsund and said, "Wow, that's cold, Leezra."
"I didn't say I would poison a dog, Tommy, I'm just saying I understand it. And besides, poisoning would be more efficient than locating and cutting out a dog's voice box. I have a weak stomach, y'know."
His dog hasn't been in my yard for weeks now.
5 comments:
You should perform those civic duties on the owner not the dog. There are no bad dogs only bad dog owners.
Besides reading your current fun(ny) stuff, I'm having a good deal of fun going back and reading your previous posts. Nothing more maddening than small dogs in a tizzy.
C.A. - you're a dollar and day too late. I shit on his lawn daily.
Kim - poison doesn't kill dogs; people kill dogs.
Teresa Evangeline - how wonderful! Recommending a backstroke thru my blog for everyone's reading pleasure,
I am,
Skitzo Leezra
hahahaha ! That's great!
I HATE those sausage dogs.
Years ago, I caught my neighbor letting her dog POOP in my yard EARLY in the morning, and attempting to sneak away (like a dirty, beady-eyed weasel-rat). I threw the window open and hollered down at her, and she creeped back to scoop her dog poop up and take it with her... I took her picture all bent over (not attractive). :)
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