Ann's story of Funny Ass Shit

My cousin Ann told the story of seeing the night time cleaning guy in the company break room. He was muttering about "the filthy 'son a bitches' leaving their crap all over the place" and "mother fucker" this and "asshole" that. Cuz was amused at the short uniformed man's rantings and luckily her turn at the vending machine allowed her to see his next action.

He opened the microwave oven door to see the interior splattered with what looked like the exploded contents of a can of ravioli. A fresh string of expletives spewed from his mouth as he grabbed the mop from his rolling mop bucket. Microwave oven still ajar, he jammed the wet and dripping mop head into the microwave and repeatedly slammed it around. Gray murky water splashed, puddled on the counter and ran down the cabinet.

The violent metallic echoes brought a co-worker from his cubicle. He and Ann stood in the doorway with mouths agape while cleaning dude continued his mop rape of the microwave.

(Ann and her office mate made a pact to only tell their bestest office buddies.)

Think about that while you heat your Hot Pocket in the company break room, you "son a bitch".