Every other bitch has a fragrance out so I decided to develop one too. Celine, Britney, Avril, Sarah Jessica, Paris, J.Lo and countless others seem to think that we want to smell like them so there must be some idiot out there that would like me to throw together some stuff and slap a Skitzo Leezra Parfum label on it.
So, idiots, should my cologne not hit the shelves of your local sundries purveyor, here's the basic ingredient list:
* MarksALot - must be black, must be fresh. Mmmmm.
* Coca-Cola in a can- that fragrance that is emitted when you first pop the tab.
* Gin - Tanqueray or Bombay, no cheap stuff.
* Laundered cotton sheets dried on a outdoor line.
* Leather - don't go too crazy on this.
* Jo's Party House cupcakes - pure sugar, white cake, nuthin' fancy.
* fresh cracked black pepper
* fresh limes
* fresh lemons
* the tiniest dash of the vintage drugstore fragrance Evening in Paris