Friday, April 10, 2009

Stupid crap women do, like me

While in college, I kinda sneered at the girls looking for husbands and wanting their MRS degree. Having no interest in marrying early, I enjoyed being the "cool girl" - the one that could match every beer with the guys, laugh and have a good time. Several years ago, my friends and I were looking at photos and they spied one of me at a sorority/fraternity exchange where the theme was pajama party. Being the wisenheimer, I wore red long johns with the drop seat. It NEVER occurred to me to wear lingerie, sheer and frilly. Slutty wasn't my look. My friends laughed at the photo and I realized those girls knew something I didn't. ~OR perhaps I was rejecting the guys before they could reject me?
So later in my dating years, I heard guys disparage the "needy" girls. Speaking the truth but also thinking it would make a guy comfortable, I would do the whole I-don't-need-a-guy spiel. What I didn't know then but I know now is: every girl suffers from Cinderella syndrome, y'know, where the guy rescues the vulnerable girl? Don't argue with me on this. Think of every chick flick and all those Disney movies. But here is the key part of the puzzle and the part that gets overlooked. GUYS suffer from the hero complex. They want to think they are saving the little lady. Super heroes, comic book characters, the list goes on and on. So I totally sabotaged myself by letting guys know that I didn't need saving. I hear guys say that want an independent woman but not sure if it is the truth. Independent to a point.
Here is the wisdom I hope to impart to you today ~~
everyone wants to be wanted,
everyone needs to be needed.
Learning the lesson way too late,
I am,


John said...

There is a difference between an independent woman and one who lives in isolation.

There is also a difference between an independent woman and one who reminds me so often that she doesn't need me that I believe that she doesn't want me around at all.

I agree: Everyone wants to be wanted. Everyone needs to be needed. And, sometimes, they need to be saved too.

That could just be the hero talking, though.

SkitzoLeezra said...

John, I read your words and it scared me because I was afraid that we dated in the past.
I finally figured out you were talking about someone else. :-)
Thanks for sharing!

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