Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Don't wanna

If you check out my craft blog at Skitzo Leezra Studio, you'll see baby gifts lovingly handmade by me but what you won't hear from me is how much fun I had at a baby shower because this bitch doesn't go to baby showers. The too-honest personality in my head frankly tells new mothers that I'd rather take an ass beating than to hang with a bunch of yentas telling their horrifying delivery stories. The breeder ladies usually let me off the hook when I promise a cute gift.

"But you would love it!" is usually a cue of the opposite.

Years ago, my friends wanted me to join them in for a male stripper shows. If you really knew me, you'd know I find it morally reprehensible, tacky and besides, I way too cheap to give money to gyrating greasy men. Sex toy parties? No way. Lingerie bridal shower? Don't look for me there. Just because I have a sailor mouth doesn't mean I enjoy tawdry activities, ya skanks.

Alternately, have received pressure to attend an activity of zero interest, be it a pottery party or paint studio party. Being crafty doesn't mean I want to paint-by-the-numbers crap. "I can't attend" becomes "that's not my thing" when met with resistance. Why? Is my rejection a lack of validation for other's good time? Am I such fun that a good time can't be had if I'm not there? Probably.

Let's respect our differences.
Don't wanna go.
Don't make me hurt your feelings.


Teresa Evangeline said...

I don't do any parties of this nature, I don't care who's giving them. Ugh. I'll take the bamboo under the fingernails, instead, thank you.

And thank God I'm never again going to be lassoed into being the recipient of one, either. No babies, no weddings, and nobody better give me a funeral after I'm gone, either.

Gail Dixon (Louisiana Belle) said...

I don't have the potty-mouth anymore, but when I did, I felt the same way about male strippers and other types of women parties. Just not my thang! I love the way you ended the post with your acid wit. Cracks me up!!! Hope you are well. I've moved to Baton Rouge to care for my mom. Later gator...

Kimberly said...

Gyrating & greasy - time & place please.

I don't do crafty things with other crafty people. I do them on my own, you dig?

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