Monday, June 01, 2009

When I see blood, I usually faint

But one time, the sight of blood made me laugh.
So hard that I almost fainted.

Back in the early 1990's or so, Chrysanthemum (Lynn) came for a Mardi Gras weekend visit. After drinking all day and standing outside after the parades had ended, she and I got our eyes stuck on a New Orleans water meter cover.

For such a utilitarian object, it is quite beautiful. She and I pondered alternate uses for them, like really cool stepping stones or rugged kitchen counter trivets . . . before we could finish our 40 ouncers of beer, we were trying to pry it from the sidewalk. Nope, a kitchen spatula eventually did the trick. We did have the presence of mind to steal MY cover because it would shift any suspicion from me. Well, it made sense at the time. But even in our drunkenness, safety was key. The open hole in the ground was a hazard so we rolled up a 24 pack beer box and wiggled it into the now uncovered hole. The box nicely protruded from the hole and alerted others to the danger. We laughed and giggled as we carried the heavy cover to her car.

The following Monday I was relaxing in my apartment when my boyfriend entered with a pant leg rolled up, a nasty gash on his shin and blood tricking down to his socks.

"Some idiot stole your water meter cover!"


"What are you laughing at? I parked and walked around the back of my truck and my foot went down the hole!"

More laughter~~

"I am lucky I didn't break my goddamned leg!"

Shrieks of laughter~~endless giggles.

Finally, I was able to sputter out, "Didn't you see the box?"

"WHAT box? What is wrong with you? I almost broke my leg and someone stole your cover!"

It took forever before I could tell him that Chrysanthemum absconded with the cover and I aided and abetted her with the theft and no, I couldn't help him bandage his leg because blood makes me woozy.

I still laugh every time I remember this story.


Anonymous said...

And I still laugh every time I think about your boyfriend stepping in that hole!! I still have that beautiful water meter cover in my front yard as a stepping stone. Out motto has always been "if it's free, it's for me" and if it is is sooo mine!! Remember when we got all those windows in Franklin that were on the side of the street? lol

Michelle said...

Hahaha! That is hysterical!! Now I want a water meter cover!!

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