Friday, July 31, 2009

Running from the po po

Read John's post today about two helicopters colliding while covering a car chase and it reminded me of my own involvement in a police chase.

Back in high school, Leenie and I were egging the home of one her many targets. Holy guacamole, Leenie enjoyed retribution more than a fat kid loves candy.

All the sudden, high beam headlights shone us in mid-throw. I knew we were caught by TheTownThatFunForgot's finest and we were in capital T-rouble. Leenie jumps in the car and yells, "get in!" before I could even comprehend that her solution was to run from the police. They were right there at the end of the street and fastly approaching, lights flashing. I must have moved because the next thing I know, Leenie has killed her headlights, turned the interior lights off and pushed the rearview mirror down so their lights wouldn't reflect and is speeding as fast as her Mazda subcompact would go.

She drove like a maniac and the whole time I am saying "you've got to stop. My parents WILL KILL me!"

Leenie is screaming "Mother Fuckers! Leave me alone! Stop following me! MOTHER FUCKERS!

We are speeding through the winding streets of the neighborhood and manage to get a half block ahead of the police car when Leenie zooms into an open garage, kills the engine and yells at me to duck my head. We are hiding in a stranger's garage and scared beyond belief. And this is south Louisiana where you should assume that every house contains a gun toting citizen so I am thinking if the police don't find us, John Q. Public will either shoot us for trespassing or call the cops. Either the homeowners were asleep or out-of-town because we sat there for awhile until we thought we were okay to leave.

We drove to her house, all the while on the look out for patrol cars. We made it home and were so relieved and then amazed that it actually worked. I was horrified that Leenie took off from the police, in awe of her bravery but scared that her natural tendencies were gonna get us killed one day.

Every time you see a car chase on television, the commenters wonder why criminals speed away because they are always caught. Not true.

My advice: stick to neighborhood streets and let Leenie drive.


f1trey said...

your blog is far too funny to go unnoticed..kudos...

SkitzoLeezra said...

Thanks, Trey!
How ever did you find little ol' me?

f1trey said...

what WAS I surfing for???? ....was it love ..or relationships.....look..Im OLD I cant remember.....I have some similar stories on my blog about....stuff.......thanks for the good read!

"Seattle" Heather said...

OMG that was freaking fan-tas-tic! I love this story! Reminds me of...oh nevermind :)

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