Life is too short to . . .
· Be embarrassed to dance
· Use cheap toilet tissue
· Drink cheap beer
· Drink cheap wine
· Not have a dog or cat
· Keep an immaculate house
· “Settle” for a mate
· Not marry your intellectual equal
· Watch television sports
· Be a secretary
· Not occasionally make an ass of yourself
· Harbor hurt
· Never apologize
· Stop learning
· Not take risks
· Use garlic powder
· Not screen your calls
· Not own a convertible, at least for a while
· Let prejudice rule your life
· Listen to a know-it-all
· Not be able to appreciate varied types of music
· Judge others and yourself by the car that you drive
· Wear underwear
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