Thursday, February 21, 2008

My truck beat the hell outta me

Oh, my gosh, if only I had video. Here's what happened:

Engage reverse to exit garage.
Shift to drive to exit driveway.
Roll at idle speed.
Realize that the seat is too close to the steering wheel.
Reach between legs to move seat.
Roll down gentle slope of driveway.
Seat SLAMS forward, crushing my chest into the steering wheel.
Over-react and firmly depress the brake, causing the seat to SLAM backward.
Before I can remove hand from seat handle, the truck AGAIN SLAMS forward knocking the wind out of my lungs and for the second time, smashing my boobs to hell. (Thank God I don't have implants.)

Geez, Louise, it hurt like hell but I laughed my ass off thinking how funny it must have appeared. Did ya ever see that awful horror flic "The Entity" about the demon that raped and savaged Barbara Hershey?

For MY video, I would state that an abusive poltergeist took control of the truck and beat the hell out me.


Anonymous said...

It's the end of the day on Friday and it has been an EXAUSTING week. I haven't checked in on the blog in a few days b/c I knew you were with your mom in Houston.

I was not surprised at eh NOLA murder rate, I saw the Oscars myself, and I was moved by the "Rufus" story. However, I was not ready for the story about your truck beating the hell out of you. I am glad there was not a video of this b/c I am sure I would have pee'ed on myself laughing. My own thoughts as I read each sentence was enough to bring me to a full on, laugh out loud, bring the assiatant in to see what was wrong with me laughter.

Thanks for making me smile at the end of a LONG week!

SkitzoLeezra said...

Ah, makes me proud, proud I tell ya, to know that work is not being done and laughter fills its place. And all due to my smashed boobs.

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