Necessity is mother(f*#^er) of invention

Whoever said that "necessity is the mother of invention" was misquoted.

If you were on a not-quite-tall-enough ladder with a drill in your hand, wishing that the bit were magnetized because you keep dropping the screw, holding an extra screw in your pursed lips, trying not to imagine the potential pain if you accidentally swallowed it and fell off the ladder but thanking yourself that the cat is well fed and will probably wait a few days before he began to gnaw on your face or fingers, but you finally get the screw in and it did NOT hit the stud and now you have big ass hole in the wall. And now you need a way to fix your misbegotten hole.
MOTHER is NOT the word you say.
It seems incomplete somehow.
MOTHER needs a last name.