Thursday, September 24, 2009

"I lost 50 pounds!"*

Say that to a crowd and notice how quickly you gain everyone's attention. First question asked, "How did you do it?"

And everyone of us wants to hear something easy and wonderful like, "Well, I still eat what I want but every Tuesday, between 1 and 2, I eat ONE black jelly bean. It must be black. And the pounds just fell off!"

We've heard about every diet and gimmick and should know better by now but still . . . we want to hear the magical easy secret to weight loss.

Especially if they say, "You know what? One week I forgot the jelly bean and I gained 10 pounds in one day! The next week, I ate the jelly bean as prescribed and 20 pounds slid off in 2 days! I make sure to set my Blackberry alarm so I don't forget that again."

It is simple math. Consume less calories than you expend but where is the fun in that? Exercise? Sensible diet? Puh-lease! We no like!

Please have fun jackin' with folks by sharing your fabulous results in the black jelly bean diet plan. You will be amazed with their gullibility and finally understand how millions are made by the weight loss gurus.

*Going back to the plan and the gym,

I am,



Charles said...

Years ago I lost 50 lbs in a very short period of time. The doctor gave me amphetamines and they were legal then for weight loss. I could have saved tons of money with the jelly bean diet. Of course I didn't have your blog back then.


SkitzoLeezra said...

Yeah, the jelly beans don't give you that wonderful cottonmouth feeling that amphetamines do.

Charles said...

Cottonmouth was an issue but when I squeezed into the then fashionable designer jeans (size 31waist) I sort of forgot about it. In the early 80's (pre aids days) it was all about getting chicks for me. Also, am thinking about a trip to New Orleans in Feb. What's the temp like then?

SkitzoLeezra said...

February is unpredictable. Could be bitter cold ~~or~~ short sleeve warm.
Leave the suede shoes at home, almost always wet.

Kimberly said...

That's the secret - BLACK jelly beans. I thought it was just black beans....ahhh this explains so much. Thank you.

word veri - focksiev

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