Thursday, September 03, 2009

What did YOUR parents hit you with?


(Yes, the title has a dangling preposition but it is not about the angle of the dangle, it's about the heat of the meat.)

Anywho, Jay Thomas (my Sirius radio boyfriend) opened the phone lines to listeners after his sidekick revealed that her dad pelted a pack of frozen hot dogs at her. The calls were hilarious.

No frozen hot dogs winged at MY head but Mom liked her rigid plastic hairbrush for butt swats. Unfortunately, she did not concern herself with the bristle angle. One angry snap of plastic ~OR~ the agony of a thousand bristles? Which will it be? It was Russian roulette of the ass cheeks.

I now remind Mom that I will be the one to select the nursing home.

3 comments:

f1trey said...

sniff....thanks for the reminder of buried pain....sniff.....hehehe j/k... mom had a long wooden spoon.....untili was old enough to break it.....hehehe

toni said...

over the knee, dress pulled up, panties pulled down and hard swat with open hand to the rump. When I was really bad a ruler would be used. Ouch! That's child abuse now.

Kimberly said...

Grandparents - belt, switch, hands, newspaper, brush broom, fly swatter.

Dad - hand, belt, water hose.

Mom - hand, switch, belt, fist right in the middle of the back.

It was nice to have diversity.

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