Saturday, July 17, 2010

Worse thing I ever said?

While listening to the Mel Gibson rant filled recordings, I wondered if any of my words would haunt me . . .
Thinking the worst thing I ever said was to the alcoholic ass boyfriend. During a particularly frustrating weekend of arguments, I told him I didn't understand how he could sleep with both eyes shut.

"What does that mean?" he slurred.

"I just don't understand how you shut both your eyes and sleep, knowing how much I hate you right now. And knowing there's an loaded gun in the house. Knowing those two things proves you're not as smart as you think you are."

I should probably feel ashamed but I don't. Besides, he probably didn't remember hearing it.

As my pastor once asked, what good is suffering? What can come from it?
For me, it is empathy.
I understand why folks can scream hateful words or fantasize about shooting their spouse in the face.

1 comment:

"Seattle" Heather said...

When my husband physically harmed me in argument I told him that was his "one time"...but if he ever did it again I would shoot him while he slept. I don't regret saying that too him. And I'm glad I'm now divorced. I've learned over the years to try and have a filter and not say things unless I mean them but sometimes...some shit does slip out.

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