I gotta a lot of grief from the time I was 17 years old because I vowed to never have children. Very few believed me and only a couple women agreed or gave me the respect for my decision. It irked me that folks would always say, "Oh, you'll change your mind." Like I didn't know myself better than they did. My gyno refused to discuss tying my tubes. He said, "There is no way I can discuss sterilization of a female with no children. Besides, who knows? Maybe next year you'll join a cult where your responsibility is to pro-create." He was trying to funny but I was appalled. My health insurance wouldn't cover birth control pills but it did pay for pregnancy and delivery. WTF?
At my class reunion, I really felt like a circus freak because so many folks asked if I (ever) married? No. Then asked how many children I had? What???! My reply became, "None that I know about." Lots of confused faces that day.
When I turned 40, it was such a relief to finally be the age that folks let it go. (Maybe by then, they know me well enough to know my parenting would be a disaster.)
Now it is so amusing to have men and women reveal to me that if they could do it all over again, they would be childless. It shocked me the first time but now I just put on my best Mona Lisa smile and don't judge.
Doing unto the others and all.
8 comments:
Ah, you sing the song of my life. Interestingly, my mother is one of those people who admit that if they could do it all over...
You and heather are perfect! Its a real pisser that society has echoes of valuinga woman by her offspring...take heart ..in 50 years that will change! you were right!
When I see folks from the past - I typically duck dive under clothes racks or just make an about face. I dislike answering questions about children & marriage - because I have neither & having neither causes me to be a fucking loser to the rest of the world.
Michelle, I knew you felt the same and your mom cracks me up!
Trey, the reason I wrote this entry is Heather's rant from last week. Everybody else, check her at http://30andstartingover.blogspot.com/
Kimberly, you aren't a loser! Why hide? Just say, "Oh, you know me, I am such a procrastinator." Or, "Sure I've been pregnant. Plenty of times. But no children yet." Then walk off.
Right on girl! We have no kids. We're always asked about that subject when we meet someone new. The last time I got pissed and answered "none that lived" and that shut the person up. A couple of friends of mine that has kids that are into drugs and have had multiple arrests told me that he wishes he had never had them. I'm not going to the next class reunion 'cause I know I won't be able to listen to the intolerable kid stories. I really enjoyed your thoughts on this subject!
Charlie
I couldn't have said it better myself. No, seriously, I'm a terrible writer. I too vowed from the time I was a kid that I'd never have kids. I still don't and never have cared for them much although I like babies in small doses or in a nice stew. I think we could solve the overpopulation problem by handing out do-it-yourself sterilization kits at the exit doors of Chuck-E-Cheese.
I stumbled upon the Duggar family on the Today Show this morning. Seems like the Today Show was heaping ooohs and ahhhhs over this friggin' pathetic family. I think they just keep popping out kids for the sake of the reality show that follows them around. With that many kids the chances are that at least one will be an alcoholic, one will be a druggie, and maybe one will be a rebellious gay. I know I could have changed the channel, but it's like driving by a bad accident....you just gotta take a look.
Toni
Oy! I watched a partial episode and found them very uninteresting and not at all visually appealing. Such a shame that all that fertility is wasted on them when other folks struggle to conceive.
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