Friday, November 27, 2009

Attraction phases

Jay Thomas wondered aloud why females are attracted to young pale girly looking guys, like teenage movie vampires and English chaps.
Welllllll, it just depends on where she is in her Attraction Ladder.
Never heard of such a thing? That's because I just make it up.
Through a female's life, levels of attraction changes. Hopefully.
  1. Daddy
  2. Horses
  3. Pretty Boys - pale vampires, harmless boy band singers, gay-but-not-yet-aware classmates. These guys are not looking for sex so chick gets a Ken doll without putting out.
  4. Bad Boys - how better to lose the shame of the Pretty Boy phase than the extreme opposite? Bad Boy to some girls is a tattooed ex-con on a motorcycle but for some girls it's a guy that wears shirts without collars and skips church 3 to 4 times a year. After being repressed with the Pretty Boy, chick is happy to put out for Bad Boy.
  5. Good Stable Guy - tired of putting up with Bad Boy's shit, chick now looks for marriage material in a nice normal guy, kinda like Dad.
If chick skips a step on the Attraction Ladder, her dating development is screwed and not likely to improve without some major mishaps.
Get stuck on a step 3 and chick will be shocked when her husband of 20 years finally admits he is gay (or a vampire or both.)
And we all know the chick that got knocked up by the rat bastard lying and cheating Bad Boy, hung around to pop out another 4 kids and now she's stuck.

Respect the Ladder. And watch your step.


Shelly Rayedeane said...

I respect that ladder more then people think I do. Lol.

giddy99 said...

Jeebers, you're a GENIUS. Why didn't someone tell me about the ladder when I was a teenager?!?!? Oh, the angst I could have spared myself.

I am happy to admit I'm finally at the top of the ladder, though. FINALLY. :)

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