Friday, November 20, 2009

With you but thinking of someone else

everyone here
knows that everyone here
is thinking 'bout somebody else
"Back 2 Good" by Matchbox 20

The song is about being with someone you don't love and realizing the ramifications later but it also makes me think about how many times I've wished that I were with someone other than my present company.
When I was a teen, I imagined being on vacation, standing on a Colorado mountain with my boyfriend instead of my family.
The angst of my local boyfriends not being my New York crush of all time.
College beaus that weren't another guy I really wanted.
Vacations with friends that could be imagined with the missing part of my heart.
Christmas and New Year's celebrations in the right setting but with the wrong person.
Though I've lived alone for over 20 years, I never felt so lonely as the time I sat in a noisy French Quarter bar holding the hand of my boyfriend of 2 years while New Orleans Saints fans cheered and partied at the thought of finally going to the playoffs in the 1991 Wild Card game. He wasn't THE ONE and I had known for quite a while. At the time, I didn't even know WHO I wanted, I just knew it wasn't him.
Thinking about that today, perhaps feeling a bit hormonal, makes me sad.
If you are with the person that you would hope were there, you are blessed.
If not, change it.
For me, sometimes nobody is better than somebody.


Kimberly said...

Everyday I feel this way. Everyday.

Kittie Howard said...

Oh, Skitzo, you're so wise to know what's what and, more so, to accept the outcome, be peaceful with it...but, you know, for all its merriment, the French Quarter can be an island of lonliness...Still, I'm sorry it didn't work out, but hope springs eternal...and thank you for the comment you left me, yes, like you, I don't like ugly...Happy Thanksgiving!

Shelly Rayedeane said...

Loneliness is a frame of mind. Once there is no fear, the loneliness fades.

True love is knowing you gave everything you could even when others just kept taking.

I judge nobody, but I would much rather get rejected by someone who doesn't want me then to stay with someone I do not want.

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