Saturday, December 26, 2009
Don't fake that cake
There is an otherwise stylish dame that displays a fake cake on a glass domed cake stand in her very fabulous historical home's dining room. The first time I spied it with my little eyes, I wondered if she was expecting company.
The next visit, months later, I saw it again and still wondered if a yummy chocolate cake is her specialty and something she always has on hand, much like proper Southern ladies who keep a punch mix base or Parmesan cheese puffs in their freezer for impromptu entertaining. Finally, I asked if the cake was the same one I saw last visit?
"Oh, as a matter of fact, it is the very same cake because it's artificial," she explained.
You would be proud of me because I kept my usual smart mouth shut.
But WHAT THE FUCK?
Is that hospitality?
"Please drool over this cake but I cannot offer you a slice."
No way in HELL is fake cake acceptable as a decor choice. It is mean, it is stupid and it will probably force you and others to over-eat deprived food.
Now, if you were assigned the kitchen in a designer show house maybe I could grant faux food as an exception but a Christmas gift of a fancy shmancy two layer counterfeit cake to a 30-something straight guy, well, that's either a really funny inside joke or completely jacked up. Were I the recipient of above culinary tomfoolery, someone should anticipate a giant cake hole blown into their front window with the assistance of a potato cannon.